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A man in a rainbow suit on a surfboard
A man in a rainbow suit on a surfboard

Happy Sad Man: a small, gentle, important film that reveals the vulnerability of men

Happy Sad Man: a small, gentle, important film that reveals the vulnerability of men

A review of Happy Sad Man, directed by Genevieve Bailey

鈥淚 am just me. Put that on the big screen. I鈥檝e got a mental illness. So have you.鈥

The above is a quote from John, one of five men whose lives filmmaker Genevieve Bailey explores in her documentary Happy Sad Man. Bailey鈥檚 hand-held camera moves in close on John鈥檚 hard-lined face as he makes this statement. His emotions are hard to read. Sad, defiant, amused. In voice-over, Bailey describes John as 鈥渢he happiest and saddest man I鈥檝e ever met.鈥

The question of how men 鈥渘avigate the dance between happiness and sadness鈥 is the film鈥檚 core concern. Each of the lives through which Bailey explores that question is impacted by mental illness.

John has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, as has surfer Grant. David, an artist, experiences anxiety. Jake has worked as a photographer and community worker in war zones and has been diagnosed with PTSD. Ivan is a farmer who works with rural men鈥檚 health groups, offering an empathetic ear to men who need to talk and explaining, 鈥淚t鈥檚 pretty scary, I reckon, how vulnerable we all are.鈥

Bailey has friendships with each of the five and has, over several years, recorded extensive conversations with them all, as well as moments with their families and friends. The result is a kind and gentle film with empathy at its heart. Happy Sad Man makes a case for talking, listening and simply 鈥渂eing with鈥 as valuable acts of care.

 

Happy Sad Man trailer.

 

In so doing, the film seeks to disrupt a commonly held idea that men do not want to talk about their emotions. Bailey states that, in her experience, 鈥渢he opposite is true.鈥

Each of the five men Bailey interviews is extremely articulate in describing their experiences with mental illness. She also meets an older man at a rural whom knows she is making a film about mental illness and want to ask her questions. It鈥檚 not that he doesn鈥檛 want to talk, it seems, but rather that he has previously lacked the language and the opportunities for doing so.

Optimism

The film is intrinsically optimistic, revealing increasing openings for conversation created through acts of empathy, kindness, whimsy and joy. This isn鈥檛 to say Bailey downplays the impacts of mental illness. She records John in the midst of a depressive episode so severe he is hospitalised for several weeks. It鈥檚 heartbreaking, difficult viewing. Also suggested 鈥 if mostly obliquely 鈥 are the ways in which John鈥檚 illness has harmed his relationships with family and friends through the course of his life.

Bailey makes the argument, however, that old forms of masculinity are being resisted or challenged, producing new opportunities for better treatment. John tells her, 鈥淚 was brought up in the school that you tough it out son, you tough it out. You鈥檙e a wuss.鈥

Happy, Sad Man reveals strategies deployed by her subjects to resist such limiting and harmful views of masculinity, celebrating these acts of resistance as indicative of important progress.

Grant, for example, has organised a weekly surf event called where participants dress in fluorescent clothes, creating humorous, cheerfully offbeat spaces in which to discuss mental health. David, who describes masculinity as 鈥渜uite banal, really鈥, creates art that is witty and revels in its own eccentricity. These deliberate disruptions celebrate 鈥 rather than fear 鈥 men鈥檚 difference, openness and vulnerability.

 

Jake, another friend of Bailey鈥檚 in the film, battles PTSD. Photo: Ben McNamara

 

These acts are worth celebrating, as are improvements in health care. I found the film鈥檚 optimism admirable and valuable, while at times wondering if ongoing and harmful patriarchal structures were being overlooked or downplayed.

Limitations

There is an intimacy to the film鈥檚 scope that is both a limitation and a strength. Issues of , , for example, each of which is known to potentially exacerbate the impacts of mental illness, are not explored.

questions about the funding of mental healthcare are not addressed.

And amid arguments about men鈥檚 ability and desire to discuss their emotions, I was left wondering about and other environments that continue to the kinds of shifts away from macho culture the film celebrates.

At a moment, though, in which (justifiable) anger and brutal debate dominate so much of our collective conversations, this small, gentle film feels important.

As viewers, we might feel uncomfortable with Bailey鈥檚 camera recording her subjects in moments of despair. But in doing so, both filmmaker and subject resist the shaming that seeks to define these moments as unspeakable or hidden.

Happy Sad Man reveals the vulnerability of men dealing with mental illness and creates a space for radical kindness.

, Vice-Chancellor's Postdoctoral Research Fellow,

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