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What is toxic positivity?

How looking only on the bright side can be damaging to mental health.

As NSW continues its second and strictest COVID lockdown, there has been plenty of focus on maintaining a positive outlook.


While 2020 saw people around the globe taking up new hobbies, exercising and learning languages, the new lockdowns across Australia have people feeling rightly frustrated and deflated.

Despite this, your news feed is probably filled with messaging telling you to appreciate the good and ignore the bad.

There are concerns over the mental health impacts of toxic positivity 鈥 the notion that people must put a positive spin on all experiences, even those that are objectively negative. 

 is a Professor of Mental Health Nursing in UOW鈥檚 School of Science, Medicine and Health. She says that despite people鈥檚 good intentions, toxic positivity can do more harm than good.

鈥淲e encourage people to reach out, and to do that we need to validate people鈥檚 feelings and acknowledge that they are in distress. People should be allowed to say 鈥業鈥檓 really angry with COVID, it鈥檚 not fair.鈥 Even though it comes from a good place, telling people to be grateful or to look on the bright side doesn鈥檛 give them permission to say 鈥業鈥檓 not well鈥,鈥 says Professor Moxham.

Professor Lorna Moxham smiles while leaning against a wall wearing a blue shirt.

Professor Lorna Moxham of UOW's School of Science, Medicine and Health.

Data has in people reaching out for mental health services since lockdowns began in Australia in 2020. Professor Moxham says we should not invalidate the link between the pandemic and mental health issues by obsessing over positive thinking. 

鈥淚t鈥檚 a bit like if you told me that you had depression and I tell you that have a good job and car and there is nothing for you to be depressed about. I鈥檝e now shut you down and you won鈥檛 reach out to me in the future. If we close the conversation down by saying 鈥榡ust carry on鈥, they will be more distressed and it perpetuates that cycle,鈥 she says.

鈥淲e are living in the here and now鈥

Professor Moxham says while you can call individuals out on their behaviour, the prevalence of toxic positivity in social media makes it difficult for people to escape.

鈥淚t鈥檚 almost society saying that you鈥檙e not allowed to have your feelings, distress, unhappiness, anger. Hearing it from a friend is one thing, but if the whole of society is saying this, then no one is going to reach out,鈥 she says.

鈥淧eople probably don鈥檛 want to hear 鈥榳e can get through this.鈥 People know that they have to do exercise and puzzles, but it is also okay to feel angry and annoyed. You have the right to be frustrated, distressed and angry, without social media telling you to be positive.鈥  

Comparing your own lockdown experience to other issues is also not helpful, says Professor Moxham. While the impact of lockdown has been labelled a 鈥 and a post circulating social media measures lockdowns against , she says comparing the situations does not change what we are going through. 

鈥淓ven if something is a 鈥榝irst-world problem鈥, we live in the developed world, and this is a problem to you.

We are living in the here and now. If you are someone who likes to be connected, you have now lost that and can feel sad about it,鈥 she says.  

How to break the toxic positivity cycle

It鈥檚 important to be aware of your own emotions and acknowledge why you are feeling them, says Professor Moxham.

鈥淚 wouldn鈥檛 even call them negative; I would just call them emotions. It is healthy to feel varied emotions, even anger, as long as they are expressed in an appropriate way. Make sure to validate your own emotions, and if someone reaches out to you, make sure to listen. Listen to the person, validate their experience and their feelings. This sometimes means sitting in silence, not even offering your opinion. Let them know you agree and that they have every right to be angry.鈥

Professor Moxham is heavily involved in an evidence-based initiative to assist people in recovery of mental illness. She says lockdowns have disrupted their usual practice, but they are staying connected virtually.

鈥淲e have been doing virtual coffee catch ups where we just allow people to say what they want to say and how they are feeling, and we just listen. We know that loneliness is as bad for mental health as cigarettes are for physical health, so it鈥檚 important to stay connected. We also use this group to find strategies people are using to support their own mental health during this time.鈥

 If you or anyone you know needs support, you can contact:

Lifeline: 13 11 14

Beyond Blue: 1300 22 4636

Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service: 1800 512 348

 

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